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Dealing with Narcissistic Personalities at Work

12 Feb 00:00 By Lawrence Akers

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​Workplaces are a melting pot of personalities, and while diversity in character can bring creativity and innovation, it also presents its challenges. Among the most complex individuals to navigate are those with narcissistic tendencies. Far from just being vain or self-absorbed, narcissism in the workplace can manifest in various ways, influencing team dynamics and leadership styles.

Interestingly, not all narcissists are detrimental. Some can thrive in leadership roles, bringing charisma and decisiveness. However, without careful management, their tendencies can create toxic environments, undermining team morale and productivity. Understanding the different types of narcissists is the first step in dealing with them effectively. Let’s explore the three primary types and how to manage them to maintain a healthy workplace culture.

What is Narcissism?

Narcissism is more than just self-obsession or vanity; it’s a complex personality trait that can range from mild to pathological. At its extreme, it can be classified as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), a diagnosable condition characterised by an inflated sense of self-importance and a deep need for admiration.

The term stems from Greek mythology, where Narcissus, a hunter, fell in love with his reflection and ultimately met a tragic end. In modern psychology, narcissists often exhibit a fragile ego behind their confident exterior. While their traits can make them appealing candidates for leadership, their lack of empathy and exploitative behaviours can cause significant harm if left unchecked.

The Three Types of Workplace Narcissists

1. Grandiose Narcissists

Grandiose narcissists exude charisma, confidence, and self-assurance. They often see themselves as natural-born leaders, thriving in high-pressure situations where bold decisions are required. Their unshakeable self-belief and charm can initially inspire teams, but their tendency to disregard the opinions of others can create friction.

In conflict, grandiose narcissists can become defensive and even hostile. While their decisiveness can be a strength, organisations must ensure that these individuals are guided by clear expectations and held accountable. Structuring feedback sessions carefully and setting firm boundaries can help manage their behaviour without triggering defensiveness.

2. Vulnerable Narcissists

Also known as covert narcissists, vulnerable narcissists are the more introverted counterparts of their grandiose peers. While they may not appear outwardly confident, their fragile sense of self drives them to seek constant validation. Their hypersensitivity to criticism and preoccupation with self-image can make workplace interactions challenging.

Unlike grandiose narcissists, vulnerable narcissists may avoid direct confrontation but can still undermine team cohesion through passive-aggressive behaviour. Providing a supportive environment while maintaining clear boundaries can help mitigate their impact. Encouraging them to focus on team success rather than personal validation is crucial.

3. Malignant Narcissists

Malignant narcissists are the most dangerous of the three. Unlike the other types, their behaviour extends beyond self-interest to actively harm others. Social psychologist Erich Fromm described this form as the “quintessence of evil” due to its blend of narcissism, aggression, and a lack of morality.

Malignant narcissists can be manipulative, vindictive, and indifferent to the feelings of others. They often create toxic environments, spreading fear and distrust. For organisations, early identification and swift intervention are critical. If coaching and support fail, it may be necessary to part ways with the individual to protect team wellbeing.

How to Manage Narcissists at Work

Structured Interviews

Spotting narcissistic tendencies starts at the recruitment stage. Avoid focusing solely on charisma and self-confidence during interviews. Instead, probe into the candidate’s leadership style and how they define success. Look for signs of collaboration and empathy. If their answers are purely self-centred, it’s a red flag.

Set Clear Boundaries and Expectations

Establishing non-negotiable standards of behaviour is essential when managing narcissists. Be explicit about the company culture and the expectations for respectful, constructive engagement. Including these guidelines in performance plans and job descriptions can reinforce the message.

Engage Managers in Feedback

Direct feedback from HR may not always resonate with narcissistic employees. Involving their direct manager—someone they’re more likely to respect—can be more effective. Provide managers with the tools and support they need to confidently navigate difficult conversations and deliver constructive feedback.

Use Diplomatic Approaches

Narcissists can be defensive when confronted, particularly if they feel threatened. Frame feedback in a way that emphasises growth and improvement rather than criticism. Keep the focus on the individual’s strengths and how they can leverage these to achieve mutual goals.

The Problem No Manager Wants

Let's face it, no manager wants to be in a position where they're having to deal with a situation that feels toxic and even potentially dangerous. Understanding narcissism in the workplace is crucial for maintaining a healthy and productive environment. While some narcissists may bring valuable traits like confidence and decisiveness, unchecked behaviour can harm team morale and performance. Recognising the different types and employing tailored management strategies can help organisations protect their culture while maximising individual potential. Ultimately, a proactive approach with clear boundaries and compassionate leadership can make all the difference.